Sunday, December 30, 2012

Surgeon vs. Mechanic

I got this in an email and I thought it was so great I figured I'd share:

A cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his bike when A mechanic shouted across the garage. A mechanic was removing a cylinder-head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known cardiologist in his shop.

"Hey, Doc, want to take a look at this?"

The cardiologist, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working on the motorcycle.

The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its' heart, take the valves out, repair any damage, and then put them back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I make $39,675 a year and you get the really big bucks ($1,695,759) when you and I are doing basically the same work?"

The cardiologist paused, smiled and leaned over, then whispered to the mechanic:

"Try doing it with the engine running."


I believe the best way I could describe myself when I was five is as a cross between those minions from Despicable Me and Dennis the Menace. I had the capacity for mischief that surpassed most children and I think the only reason why my parents still kept me around despite my terrible antics was because I gave them hours of recorded comedy or because everyone seemed to like my voluminous cheeks.

One day, as I often did, I watched my father shave. There was something particularly thrilling and magical about the disappearance of white foam from my fathers face. I don't really know why, but I got a kick out of it. My father is the epitome of manliness. Having climbed Kilimanjaro as a sixteen year old and having traveled all over the world.. Well.. he was a role model; a hero.

So, I'm watching my dad shave and an absolutely enlightened thought occurred to me. I was going to shave.
In Kenya, we broke for lunch and came back to school after our "break" and on one fateful day I did it.

I ran into a problem as soon as I walked into the bathroom. I had no beard to shave, no mustache to trim. I sat there long and hard, puzzled. Then I noticed my eyebrows.

I figured, hey, its the next best thing and since I don't have any other sort of facial hair.. why not? It's a miracle I didn't shave off something important (like my nose) but lo and behold! I had shaved off one of my eyebrows. For some reason I did not deem it necessary to shave the other one. Maybe I wanted to retain some individuality and not copy my dad fully. Who knows.

Off to school I went and when I got home to my parents...

Oh boy.

Friday, December 28, 2012

Title's Namesake

I find something primal, yet cultured; expressive, yet esoteric in poetry. The most profound verse I have come to love comes from the Rubaiyat, a selection of poems, by Omar Khayyam.

The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,

 Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit,
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
 Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.

Do you understand what Khayyam is saying?

Thursday, December 27, 2012


Ahah mom and I were doing the YMCA on the deck before the ship embarked.

Tuesday, December 25, 2012


Okay, listen.

It's a cold winters day. About 40 degrees outside, wind chill a little over 35 degrees. Its also darkening outside; the angry grey sky invites nothing but gloom and despair. And the forecast calls for rain. It is on this horrid day that I am charged with a most unfortunate task.

Here I am, studiously writing personal statements for graduate school, huddled up in my blanket seeking warmth within its fleece confines when I hear my dad yell for me to come downstairs.

These occurrences rarely bring me joy and this time was no different.

He pulls out a bucket and soap and hands it to me with two rags and ushers me into the garage. I await with trepidation.

He tells me its going to rain soon.

And he wants me to soap up the car before it does.

Bonding Time

My mother and I share a pretty close bond. Pardon the cliche but she's like a close friend. I confide in her and she gives me advice. She's knowledge of all my relationships and crushes and has guided me through minor heartbreaks and woes. I'm the voice of reason when she's caught up with histrionics and melodrama and I'm there for her to vent.

I scare the hell out of her while she cooks, she smacks me when I do. She tells me to shave, I proceed to kiss her cheek with my full beard in all its glory. I'ts a rather unique relationship.

So on the cruise I decided to take her to dance lessons and there we learnt to tango!

I can't dance. But it was so worth it spending time with mom. After spending about 45 minutes walking through the steps I asked her to dance and it was great. I think we were the only mother-son pair there ahaha.

After the class was over we went to lunch with the rest of the family. By the way, 80% of my excitement with regards to going on cruises stem primarily from the fact that food is incredible and abundant. My appetite cannot be sated now that I am home. I swear my stomach has expanded to the size of a small pony.

Anyways, after lunch my mom wanted us to practice again to show dad because he's the last person ever to dance (although he did the YMCA with mom at the beginning of the cruise).

Let me introduce myself

Very candid picture of the family. Clearly photogenicity skips generations

Medusa and me aahah



Sun setting on the Atlantic :)

The Vacation Playlist

"Ah, music," he said, wiping his eyes. "A magic far beyond all we do here! 
-Albus Dumbledore

My ENTIRE vacation, I had two songs stuck in my head.

Elton John's Circle of Life from the Lion King and that beyond irritating Christmas song that goes:

"laaast Christmas, I gave you my heart and the very next daaaay you gave it awaaaay. Thiiis year, to save me from tears I'll give it to someone special"

Yuck. I hate Christmas music. And the strangest thing is, the Christmas song and Circle of Life melded into one and I'd hum one then seamlessly transition to the other. Drove my family insane.

No matter how I feel, who I'm with, where I am, what I'm doing music has a place. And though my musical needs can be fulfilled solely by Coldplay, I am a man of variety.

And here I have compiled a list of the songs I listened to on vacation!!

Lions Roar- First Aid Kit

Ehlam- Ahmed Meky Ft. Donia
Say It like You Mean It- The Cinema
Egyptic- Beats Antique
All You- The Cataracts
Satellite- Down Faye
Oblivion- Bastille
Time of times- Badly Drawn Boy
Elevator Love Letter- Stars
Hasir- Modeselektor
Not so bad- Dido
1800 Silver- After the Smoke & King Mez
Everything at Once- Lenka
Beneath Your Beautiful- Labrinth ft. Emeli Sande
The Power of Love- Gabrielle Aplin
Its Time- Imagine Dragons
I Found You- The Wanted
Wires- Athlete
Flowers In Your Hair- The Lumineers
Ho Hey- The Lumineers
A.O.- The Presets
Fall- The Presets
Laura Palmer- Bastille
Hold Me Close- Flux Pavillion
Night Goes On- Flux Pavillion
Overjoyed- Bastille
Sleepsong- Bastille
Soul Meets Body- Death Cab for Cutie
Adventures in Solitude- The New Pornographers
Un Angelo Non E- Eros Ramazzotti
Cinema Paradiso- Giorgia Fumanti (okay, kind of strange, but its beautiful)
Lullaby- Billy Joel
My Rights Versus Yours- The New Pornographers
Start Shootin'- Little People
Kayip- Tarkan
Try- P!nk
Challengers- The New Pornographers
Saturday- The Enemy
Champion- The Chevin
Young Girls- Bruno Mars
Sleep Alone- Two Door Cinema Club
Rain of Gold- Young Empires
Fly Or Die- Rock Mafia
Wild- Royal Teeth
Big Mouth- Santigold
Jungles- Stepdad
Searchin- Matisyahu
Finale- Madeon
I'll Be Alright- Passion Pit
On Top Of The World- Imagine Dragons
Feud- Band Of Horses
Follow- Crystal Fighters
Outta My Mind- Cali


So, the things in bold are particularly great, the ones in bold and capital letters are songs that are pretty much my favorites.


So I was on the Lido deck, the deck open to the elements, the deck where everything happens. Deck 15. It was a day at sea and we'd already stopped at all our ports of call. I wanted to chilllllll.

I took my iPod and Enders Game, a book from my childhood that I cannot seem to put down, ever. I made my way up and reclined on those poolside lounge chair-bed things.

It was rather awkward; everyone around me was half naked, with the intention of getting a tan or tired after a swim and here I was, fully clothed. I didn't need to tan! I'm a healthy caramel color.

Moments later, a girl stretched herself on a chaise lounge chair (that's what they're called, I googled it.) and I froze.

The incongruency of what I was doing, where I was doing it and what I was wearing while doing it dawned on me. I must have looked like an idiot reading by the pool, fully clothed while this veritable mermaid oils herself up beside me.

So I left.

Aahhahaha I left my book and iPod there to save my spot though. I went down to my stateroom and changed into my swimming costume and I sprayed on some suntan stuff. I later will realize that SPF 30 did nothing for me and the bad taste in my mouth and constant sneezing after I sprayed the suntan lotion on was for naught.

Anyways, I headed back up and I reclined, continuing to read my book.

Now see, Ender's Game is a masterpiece. It alerts the reader to the intricacies of human emotion and experience. It transcends so many sociopolitical boundaries.

So I'm very into the book. I'm also dead scared of embarrassing myself in front of this chick. After..oh.. about 2 hours laying out, I muster the courage to talk to her.

"So, hey..! Erm.. do you know what time it is?"

^PURE stupidity. She's SWIMMING you IDIOT. How would she have the time?

The universe favored me, however. She had her iPhone with her and told me it was 2:21

I "hmm"-ed and then I kept on "reading" for what I hoped was nine minutes and left.

Ahaha awkward. Oops.

Monday, December 24, 2012

In medias res

The title is a little misleading. I don't intend on starting from the middle per se. Rather, I'll start from not too long ago, about last Friday. The point is, I am not starting from the present.

I've been on many cruises but I've been only on one other cruise in December. I must say, winter cruises are immensely enjoyable. First thing, I hate the winter. I abhor the cold. Apart from sweaters, cuddling, and hot chocolate, I really see no point in weather below 60 degrees. And that's pushing it.

The winter is dark, depressing and cold and for me December is the figurehead of this ghastly season. So a cruise was welcomed.

This cruise marked the end of the year. For me, 2012 is already over; I'm already living in 2013. It was a spectacular year with more ups than downs and though some chapters closed regrettably, others opened. The cruise was a send-off to 2012 and a warm (literally) hello to the new year.

The cruise started off hysterically. My mom doing the YMCA and my grandfather clapping along. It was magical. It was way adorable.

I don't really want to walk through the cruise so I think I'll write about it in piecemeal. Its winter break, after all. I'm lazy.

Here goes nothing.

Well, this is rather daunting.

On my trip back from Florida, I had all these exciting ideas and thought up way too many cheesy albeit genius phrases that would surely catch the attention of the one or two readers I hope to trick into keeping up with my blog.

And I am faced with this blankness. There is so much white space. I have no earthly idea how anything I can think of can fill this page up unless I spew out meaningless drivel, thought of from the top of my head. A stream of consciousness, unchecked by society or even my own restrictions. It should be fun.